This guide is written by native-TEE mushroom princess Captain Sierra, who you can totally trust and not have a doubt in after all because I am Captain, you dirty cock-sucking bastards who suck titty milk off of each other's mam-boobs.

Yellow Snow

Uh-oh! Somebody accidentally dropped their lemonade onto the ground! Well it'd be bad to just leave it there. You should probably finish it off for them, y'know? Probably tastes just like a snowcone.

Red Snow

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH AGAIN when you make cherry Kool-Aid! You should totally eat this one too. It's totally safe and not period blood.

Blue Snow

Most likely water. Don't doubt my fucking physics and color knowledge.

That-Blackish-Grey-Stuff-You-Find-At-The-Side-Of-The-Road Snow

It's probably magic antimatter snow. It could either make you deadly sick or you become an X-Men. Your choice whether you eat it or not.

Clear Snow

You're high, aren't you?

Rainbow Snow

Obviously a gay man was here and was murdered, spewing his fabulous rainbow blood all over the place.

You don't see it because gay men are too fantaaaaastic to be murdered.

Brown Snow

It's chocolate! YAAAAAAY!

Trust me.

Purple Snow

You're still high.

Green Snow

That's grass, you ignorant bastard. Get back in your mental hospital.

Chrome Snow

Wow, it's the future already!?!?!?!?!?

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