The Adventures of AB
Season 1, Episode 6
Air date N/A
Written by v
Directed by ^
Episode Guide
Artholomew Ballen
Clarinet Man
Abachnids is an episode of The Adventures of AB.


AB was in science class on Friday. Mr. Burnbaum was pointing to the brain of a frog.

(Mr. Burnbaum): Everyone, draw the brain of your frog.

People drew brains on frogs that they drew. AB drew a giant brain.

(AB): Hey Lawrence, my frog's smarter than yours!

Lawrence drew a brain that took up the frog's whole head.

(Lawrence): Nope. My frog's brain is as big as his head!

AB took out another piece of paper, drew a frog, and drew a brain that took up the frog's whole body.

(AB): Beat that.

Lawrence took out another piece of paper, and drew a giant pink frog.

(Lawrence): My frog is WAY smarter than any frog that you could draw. In fact, it's so smart, it's 100% brain.

(Mr. Burnbaum): Lawrence, are you talking?

(Lawrence): Umm, maybe.

AB turned a piece of paper over, drew a frog, and drew a tiny brain.

(AB): This frog is smarter than you are.

(Girl): AAAAH!

(Mr. Burnbaum): What is it, Karen?

(Karen): A SPIDER!

Mr. Burnbaum walked to Karen and saw a tiny spider.

(Mr. Burnbaum): It's tiny.

Mr. Burnbaum blew it off the table, then put a cup over it.

(Mr. Burnbaum): There.


AB was in math class. They were all working on a worksheet.

(Boy): Mr. Ademup? There's a spider.

(Mr. Ademup): Kill it.

The boy picked up a spider a little bigger than the last one, and threw it into the trash can.

(Boy): GOAL!

(Mr. Ademup): I said kill it, not play basketspider with it.

(Boy, muttering): I'd like to play basketball with your head.

(Mr. Ademup): What did you say?

(Boy): Nothing. Nothing at all.


AB was in gym class, climbing a rope. Lawrence was climbing a rope next to him.

(AB): Lawrence, there's a spider on your rope!

Lawrence looked up and screamed. He flailed his arms, and fell down.

(AB): I'll save you!

AB jumped down from his rope, and tumbled onto the floor.

(AB): Oww.

Lawrence fell on top of him.

(Lawrence): Thanks for breaking my fa-

The spider fell into his mouth, so Lawrence started choking. Mr. Begmuzzles dashed to him and squeezed his stomach, causing Lawrence to spit the spider out. AB got up.

(Lawrence): Umm, Mr. Begmuzzles, can I get some water? A LOT of water?

(Mr. Begmuzzles): Come on, Lawrence. BE A MAN.

Mr. Begmuzzles picked Lawrence up, then dropped him. Lawrence fell back, and onto AB, knocking them both down.

(Lawrence): Thanks again.


AB was in social studies class. They were all reading textbooks. A spider was crawling on the floor. Stan saw it.

(Stan): AAAH! There's a fat spider on the floor!

Everyone looked at the spider and stepped backwards.

(Ms. Crialdadime): There is?

She started crying, then struggled to open the window, but she eventually did, then jumped out and ran away.


AB was in Spanish class. Mrs. Mata was writing on the board. She wrote an N with a tilde over it.

(Mrs. Mata): Remember guys, this says en-yay. Don't completely ignore it. En-yay. Like in canyon or, um-

A spider the size of a hand crawled on the board.

(Mrs. Mata): Gran pepino, that's a large spider!

Mrs. Mata picked up a pointer and tried to hit the spider with it. The spider climbed up a web and crawled away.


AB was in English class. A bunch of students were cutting out magazine pictures for a project. One kid cut out a picture of a spider, and a spider the size of two hands popped out of the hole.

(Kid): Woah! 4D image!

(Kid Next to Him): What?

(Kid): There was a humongous spider under the picture I just cut out!

A bunch of people looked at the spider. Most of them screamed and ran away.

(Mrs. Ledderen): Relax. It can't be that scary.

Mrs. Ledderen walked over to the spider, then walked the other way.

(Mrs. Ledderen): Forget what I just said. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Everyone started running around. One girl threw her jacket over it, but the spider bit through the jacket.

(Girl): Dang, it just ruined my jacket!

One boy tried to hit it with a ruler, but the spider swung on a web and landed on the ruler. The boy dropped it, screamed, and ran. A couple of kids put a trash can over the spider, but it lifted the trash can and crawled out.

(Kid): That's one strong spider.

A bunch of people ran out of the room.

(Mrs. Ledderen): Guys, it's not that bad. Get back in here!

The spider climbed up her arm.

(Mrs. Ledderen): Once again, forget what I just said.

Mrs. Ledderen stormed out the door, and the spider fell off her. A bunch of other students went out, too.


AB was in band class. The tubists were playing part of a song, but Mr. Enstraminned motioned for them to stop.

(Mr. Enstraminned): Woah woah woah, something sounds wrong there. All of you, play measures 21-26 individually. Starting with Melanie.

Melanie played measures 21-26 of the song. Mr. Enstraminned motioned for Sally, and she played. Then, he motioned for Simon. He blew into his tuba, but nothing came out.

(Mr. Enstraminned): Is there something in your tuba?

(Simon): I think so.

Simon looked in his tuba, then dropped it and started running.


The largest spider so far came out of the tuba. A bunch of people ran around and screamed, knocking over chairs and stands. When one kid got up, they accidentally knocked their clarinet down, which knocked over a stand, which knocked over a chair, which knocked over a stand. The stand fell on three other stands, and caused them to create a chain reaction of things getting knocked over. Everybody ran out the door.

(Lawrence): What's with all the spiders?

(AB): Something. And I'm going to find out.

Ms. Principled came on the intercom.

(Ms. Principled): Attention. School has been dismissed early because of the spider infestation. There is a procedure on which we will evacuate the building. First-

(Student over intercom): Principal Principled, there's a huge spider on your back!


A bunch of students ran all over the building. Several spiders appeared in the hallway. People were tripping over each other as they were running, and they were knocking everything down. A bunch of students, including AB and Lawrence, were trying to get out of the doors at once. Eventually, AB and Lawrence fell on the ground, and a bunch of students ran on top of them.

(AB and Lawrence): Oww! Ah! Oooh! Stop! This hurts!

Eventually, people stopped running over them. They slowly got up.

(Buff Kid): AAH! SPIDER!

He ran through the door with a spider on his nose, and knocked AB and Lawrence back down.


AB was at home, reading a comic book in the living room. Unity walked up to him.

(Unity): There were spiders everywhere in school today, so we got let out early.

(AB): Same here. You know, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad there were spiders.

(Unity): Why?

(AB): Because I won't have to go back to school soon. I doubt they'll remove all the spiders by Monday.

(Unity): Hey, what's that on your chair?

(AB): What?

AB looked around, and saw a spider the size of 3 fingers on the back of his chair.

(AB): Oh no. Not again.

The spider jumped, but AB got up and the spider landed on the seat. AB and Unity ran to the stairs, but an army of spiders was coming down.

(Both): AAAH!

AB and Unity ran to the back door, but several spiders were on it. Spiders surrounded them.

(AB): What are we going to do?

AB was still holding the comic book. Unity grabbed it, swatted the spiders off the door, and opened it.

(Unity): Come on!

AB and Unity ran out as Unity dropped the comic book. They ran into the backyard, where Timothy and Victor were playing catch with a football.

(Victor): Go long!

Timothy ran backwards a lot, then stopped. Victor threw the football, and Timothy caught it.

(Timothy): Hey guys. What's up?

(Unity): Spiders!

(Timothy): Yeah. That's why we got let out of school today.

(Unity): No! The house is filled with spiders!

(Victor): That's ridiculous. Those spiders are only at school.

Timothy threw the football. When Victor caught it, there was a spider on it.

(Victor): Ok, nevermind.

Several spiders were crawling towards Victor. Unity ran to a tree.

(Unity): AB, jump on me!

(AB): Why?

(Unity): Just do it!

AB saw several spiders crawling on him, then ran to Unity and jumped on her. Unity caught him and hurled him up with all her might.

(AB): Woah!

AB grabbed a branch.

(Unity): Now climb to the end of that branch over there!

AB slowly climbed to the other side of the tree.

(Unity): Faster!

AB hurried, and got to the branch. He got to the end of it, which pushed it down to Victor, who was covered head to toe in spiders. Victor grabbed the branch, and AB jumped, launching them both onto the tree. The spiders flew off Victor one by one. Spiders chased Unity and Timothy into a car. They locked all the doors, trapping out spiders, but there were some already in there, crawling onto the pair. Timothy swiftly snatched a key from his pocket, stuck it in the ignition, and started driving away. AB and Victor were watching, so they did not notice that spiders were climbing up the tree to them until the car left their sight.

(Victor): Climb higher!

They climbed on to the top of the tree, and the spiders followed. They saw several houses surrounded by spiders.

(AB): So we're not the only ones getting spider infested.

Spiders started forming webs around the duo. They could not break through them.

(Victor): We're trapped!

The spiders started carrying AB and Victor down the tree, through the driveway, and through the streets. Several other people were getting carried, too.

(AB): What's with these superspiders? Were they bit by radioactive humans or something?


The spiders carried everyone to an empty field.

(Spiders): Kliminich tywai qersong!

An hourglass shaped crack formed in the ground, then everything in between the crack sunk down, revealing red light. Spiders started carrying people inside.

(People): What the-?

(People): This is weird.

(Person): Am I dreaming? Someone pinch me.

A bodybuilder pinched him.

(Person): Oww! Not that hard!

Inside, there was a cylindrical dungeon-like room with skeletons. There were several tunnels in the walls. The spiders dropped everyone, then all climbed through the same tunnel. There was various talking. One man stood up, sprinted to the tunnel, and jumped through it. There was a punching noise, and the man was launched back onto the wall, and onto the ground with two black eyes.

(Victor): How are we gonna get out of here?

(AB): I don't know.

(Woman): I think I hear someone coming!

(Man): You mean, somespider.

The largest, most colossal spider was being carried by four other spiders through the tunnel. She had 12 arms with 4 fingers each, 4 fangs, antennae, and a giant green crown atop her head.

(Queen): Welcome, my new captives. You are probably all wondering why my loyal subjects brought you here. Well, it's because I'M GOING TO EAT YOU!

Most people gasped.

(Queen): Just kidding. It's because I'm am going to peel of all of your skin, and use your bones to make furniture. Your other body parts? I'll make good use of those.

The queen laughed, and showed a necklace made with intestines and a liver.

(Queen): So make yourself at home. Your final home.

The spiders carried her back through the tunnel.

(Victor): She's creepy.

Victor turned to look at AB, but he wasn't there.

(Victor): AB? AB? WHERE ARE YOU?!?!

AB was shown holding onto the queen's fur as she was getting carried. Eventually, AB jumped down and ran through another tunnel. He stuck his head through a hole, and saw two spiders sewing.

(Spider 1): Gazeus fertoie bivflig a dupolli?

(Spider 2): Qawer xazdu bijnov zaqxerdt j, sax coeru.

(AB, whispering): I wonder what they're sewing.

AB saw a rock with a hole in it that resembled a cone. He picked it up and used it as a telescope so he could see. The spiders were sewing a banner with a picture of other spiders. There were lines to resemble motion, and they went from spiders to houses.

(AB): That must've been their plan to invade the houses.

AB crawled away, then back with a stick. He begin to copy the picture by carving it into the wall. When he finished, he put down the rock and the stick, then crawled away.


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