The Legend of Jack: The Epicness Continues
Season 1, Episode 7
Air date January 7th, 2014
Written by The Awesome Jack
Directed by The Awesome Jack
Episode Guide
Mental Shit
Late Night With Sklei


Jack, Nick, Lego, Ermac and Toon are all sitting at the counter. Ahmad grabs the rag off of his shoulder and begins to wipe it.

Jack: Another round Ahmad! And put it on Lego's tab!

Lego: Why me?

Nick: Because you're the richest.

Lego: What can I say? Bitches love the D.

Ermac: Actually, Sklei's the richest.

Lego: He's to much of an asshole to miss out one of shows.

Nick: Yeah, Hollywood doesn't belong here.

Toon: Hollywood?

Nick: Fuck off scrawny, I call people what I want.

Ermac: Fuck off Nick.

Ahmad: Guys, guys. Calm down.

Toon: So, Jack, how's the family?

Jack: Good, I caught Junior watching Czechoslovokian porn yesterday though.

Ermac: And the wife?

Jack: She's being a bitch right now, on her period and shit.

Lego: Damn, why do you put up with that? That's why I'm single.

Nick: Right, that's the reason that you're single.

Toon: Have you guys seen Baxter lately?

Jack: Dude, he was fucking murdered.

Ahmad: Hey, Hey, Jack, at least respect our late friend.

Jack: Late alright, he owed me over five grand plus two doses of weed.

Nick: So? Just take it out of his bank account.

Ahmad: Guys, seriously, you barely paying for any of the drinks because I'm your friend. The least you can do is respect my friend Baxter. Also, drugs aren't right.

Ermac: Whatever, see ya at home guys, I'm tired.

Ermac leaves and Lego, Toon, Nick, and Jack follow.

Ahmad: I'm still worried about Zon atleast.

The next few hours is quiet, an occasional drunkard drinking himself unconscious. By 1:00 A.M., two men enter the bar.

Ahmad: Hey there, welcome to the graveyard shift, two for the price of three and you don't care because you super drunk!

Terrence: Get me six rums. 

Micheal: And a few absolut vodka.

Ahmad: Not with that attitude.

Terrence grabs the scruff of Ahmad's collar.

Terrence: What you say to me?

Micheal: Nick ain't gonna like you acting towards us like this.

Ahmad: Nick? 

Terrence: Probably no one you know shrimp. 

Terrence throws Ahmad back. Ahmad grabs a shotgun from underneath the counter.

Ahmad: Get out of my bar, now.

Micheal: We aren't looking for trouble, just a few drinks.

Ahmad: Should've told me that before you steriods friend here decided to play around.

Terrence: What'd you call me?

Terrence lungs at Ahmad. Ahmads kicks Terrence off of the counter then shots him in the wrist. Micheal screams and runs out of the bar. Terrence falls out the door as Micheal struggles to fit him into the car as they drive off.

Ahmad: No one messes with my bar.

Terrence calls Patrick. About an hour later, Bruce, Micheal, and Patrick enter the bar.

Ahmad: You again? I said get out before I call the authorities.

Bruce reveals a crowbar. Micheals pulls out a chain. Patrick has a pocket knife.

Ahmad nervously grips his shotgun.

Ahmad: I said, get out of my bar.

Micheal lunges forward. Ahmad shoots but misses, hitting the disco ball. It falls on Micheal, pinning him under it. 

Patrick: Ah hell naw.

Bruce: You lucky my shift starts early tonight.

Bruce leaves.

Patrick: You still  gon' feel my wrath.

Ahmad: Or will I?

Ahmad jumps forward and grabs Micheal's chain. 

Micheal: Hey! Give that back you motherfucker!

Ahmad throws the whip at Patrick. He dodges it.

Patrick laughs.

Patrick: That's your secret weapon?

Ahmad: No.

The whip shatters the window. An alarm starts. Police cars race down the street.

Ahmad: That was.

Patrick angrily grabs Micheal up and they run off. By sunrise, the police man, Blake Kelly, was filing a report for the accident.

Blake: Alright, thanks Mr. Ahmad. If this happens again, just call 911, don't shatter your own window.

Ahmad: Yes sir.


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