The Legend of Jack: The Epicness Continues
Season 1, Episode 16
Air date April 12th, 2014
Written by The Awesome Jack
Directed by The Awesome Jack
Episode Guide
Humpday Say What


Ermac sits in his lair, watching as Lethal and Shriek battle. Shriek grabs Lethal by the neck and smashes his face into the ground. George Stavonivich is next to him.

Dark Lord: That's enough for now.

George: Yes my lord.

George walks over to Shriek and Lethal and inserts the Anti-Serum, reverting them to Glenn Dixon and Rick Monroe respectively. Ermac laughs malevolently.  Camera looms over Jack's house. It was raining. Junior lays on his bed, shoes off casually watching TV. Raindrops thump on the roof. It was in a melody almost. Junior flexes his toes, obviously relaxed. His fingers overlap behind his head while his feet were reclined. His phone rings. Junior sits up, irritated.

Junior: Yo dude what's up?

Dude: You hear about the PS4? It looks sick.

Junior: Yeah no way. Xbox One for the win. My 360 sucks. I'm hoping to get one on Black Friday.

Dude: Where are you going to get the cash?

Junior: I have no fucking idea.

Outside his door, he notices a shadow lurking by but continues talking. On the other side of the door, Savannah's ear is pressed against the door. She was also casual looking. Her hair was loose down her shoulders while she was yoga pants and a sports bra.

Ermac: What are you doing?

She jumps and puts a finger over her mouth, signaling him to shut it. His eyes flicker toward her chest and she slaps him and crosses her arms, blocking the view of her breasts.

Savannah: Pervert.

Ermac indicates toward the door, his lips creaking upward into a creepy Norman Bates smile.

Ermac: So you want me to tell him you're stalking him?

Savannah shakes her head and walks away from the door. Ermac follows, starring at her butt. He bites his bottom lip. Dat ass, he thinks to himself.

Savannah: That new console he wants is five hundred dollars. It's to expensive but he really wants it.

She turns around to face Ermac who quickly changes his gaze, starring out the window.

Ermac: Then go to GameStop.

Savannah: Why would GameStop have it cheaper?

Ermac: I meant on Black Friday. 

Savannah: No way. People get killed from that.

Ermac: Alright. But it'll be your best chance. I could help pay. For a price.

He leans into Savannah who knees him in the crotch. Ermac limps away. She shrugs that walks away from Junior's door. That night, Jack was in bed, asleep. Savannah lay next to him, wide awake and starring at the ceiling. She sits up and grabs Jack's laptop. Opening it, porn begins playing. She quickly mutes, afraid to wake up Jack.

Savannah: Ew. Men and their porn.

Exitting out the porn, she opens the internet browser. Savannah quietly types into the search bar One the page loads, Savannah begins research. She stays up for hours, watching Black Friday tragedies. Sighing, she slams the laptop shut, mind made and ready to discuss the porn with Jack the next day.

Junior is sitting on the table, next to him is Toon, Ahmad, Sklei, and Ermac. Junior slurps his milk from the bite of cereal. His hair is frizzed up with dark rings under his eyes. Sklei was reading a newspaper and talks to Toon.

Sklei: You hear about that crazy vigilante? If anything, he's the offender. Not this Dark Lord guy.

Toon sits still, stiff.

Sklei: Something wrong?

Toon shakes his head, realizing Sklei doesn't know. No one can, Toon thinks to himself. No one.

Junior: I hate waking up early.

Sklei: You woke up at two P.M. today.

Junior: It's a tragedy I know.

Sklei shakes his head in disbelief then returns to scanning over his newspaper. Meanwhile, at the dog park, Savannah is vivaciously pondering her dilemmia here. Maybe it's for the best. It'll make him so happy, she smiles. Pug barks, waddling over to a tree. He lifts his leg up and urinates. A squirrel climbs down the tree. Pug virulently attacks it, swallowing the carcuss whole. Savannah stands up.

Savannah: Let's go boy!

Pug sprints over and jumps into her arms. Savannah carries Pug back to her car and drives home.

Back at the house, Junior and Jack are shooting hopes on their basketball hoop.

Junior: When do you think Nick will be back from his job interview in Russia?

Jack: Soon, probably.

Jack dribbles the ball into between his legs and shoots a fade-away. It bounces off the rim. Junior dashes for the rebound and puts the ball back up as a layup. It swishes.

Junior: What about Zon?

Jack: I'm not sure. Apparently, his passport expired so he's stuck in Cameroon.

Junior: I thought he was in Egypt.

Jack: That was what I meant.

Night falls and Savannah walks up to Jack and Junior, who were watching TV.

Savannah: I'm going grocery shopping. Should be back in an hour or two.

Junior: K bye.

Jack stands and smooches Savannah.

Jack: Bye.

Savannah closes the door behind her and walks out to her car. She gets in and turns the car on. Pulling out of the driveway, Savannah turns the car and cruises down the street towards GameStop. A few minutes later, Savannah parks at the strip mall and her heart falls. GameStop has a line down the street. She gets in line but is pushed into the wall by some drunk idiot. Angry, Savannah decides to leave but stops when the crowd subdues when someone screams out.

Someone: Hey! Best Buy just announced they have 81% off instead 80%! Let's go!

Savannah backs out of line when the stampede of people leave. She was the only one left in line. The employee opens the doors. Savannah walks into the store with pride and picks up the box. She walks over to the cashier and hands him the credit card. When she arrives home, Junior was asleep. She wraps the Xbox and tiptoes up stairs. She slowly creaks his door open and places the Xbox next to his bed.

Morning arrives. The sun rises over the horizon. Everyone was eating breakfast. Everyone that is, except Junior.

Toon: Probably sleeping in again today.

Savannah smiles and goes upstairs, checking on him. She knocks on the door. No response. Slowly, Savannah opens the door. Inside, Junior, wide awake, was playing Call of Duty. He doesn't even notice her. She smiles and closes the door, content with her decision.


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