|The Legend of Jack: The Epicness Continues|
|Season 1, Episode 3|
|Air date||November 24nd, 2013|
|Written by||The Awesome Jack|
|Directed by||The Awesome Jack|
I'm the Goddamn Bat Toon
Jack Jr. is at the dog park with Pug.
Pug: Bark bark!
Dog: Bark bark!
Dog 2:Bark bark!
Jack Jr: Woof woof!
The dogs begin to surround him because he spoke a sincere insult.
Jack Jr: Bark bark?
He turned and ran, about thirty dogs running after him.
Jack Jr: Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
Pug is talking to another Pug.
Pug: My masters are so stupid sometimes.
Other Pug: Squirrel! Imma go chase dat squirrel.
Pug: Look! A tree.
Pug waddles over and lifts his leg, peeing on a tree. Savannah calls him over, handing him a biscuit. Jack Jr. scratches his butt, much to Pug's delight.
Savannah: Alright Junior, get Pug. We need to go home now.
Jack Jr: Ok mom.
Jack Jr. scoops up Pug and turns. The three go into the minivan and drive home. Jack is on his laptop, playing Minecraft.
Savannah: Jack, you should spend some time with Junior. Maybe take him to the movies?
Jack and Junior go in the minivan.
Jack: Whaddaya wanna do?
Jack: We have a pool.
Junior: Let's go!
Junior jumps in. He comes to the surface, screaming.
Junior: MY EYES! THEY BURN!
Jack: Well yeah, it's a saltwater pool.
Junior screams jumping out of the pool. A fish falls out of his bathingsuit.
Jack: Probably should put a filter in there.
Junior: Ya don't say?
Pug hops into the pool.
Junior: Pug no!
Pug jumps back out with a dead fish in his mouth. He swallows it hole. Jack jumps into the water and comes out riding a narwhal.
Junior: How the fuck does this even work?
Jack: You have no idea, this pool is 500 feet deep. I have installed about a year ago before the zombie apocalyspe.
Junior: Good times.
Pug yaps. Junior strokes his fur, content.
Jack: C'mere boy!
Junior runs over. Jack pushes him to the ground.
Jack: Not you, Pug.
Jack: Damn right.
The two walk outfront. Jack snatches the newspaper. Headline reads: DRUG DEALER MURDERED, IDENTITY KNOWN AS BAXTER HEROIN.
Jack falls to his knees.
Jack: No more free drugs. Goodbye Baxter, see you in hell.
Nick has a sniper aimed at a bank robber. He closes his lips. Boom. Headshot. Nick smiles. He thought about his brilliantly executed plan. As he drove through the woods, he smiled.. Soon everything will be under his control. Including bacon. He arrives back to the bunker.
Nick: Mwahahahahahaha (eats bacon) hahahahaha (takes another bite) hahhahahahahahaha (and one last bite). Now, Terrence, order some more bacon..
Terrence: Yes sir!
Terrence goes to Bob's room.
Terrence: Nick said for you to get more bacon.
Bob goes to Micheal's room and takes steals the cocaine from his secret stash.
Bruce: Nick, we need to get some attention on ourself.
Bruce: Maybe burn down the white house?
Bruce: How about make the goverment shut down?
Nick: Nah, that just happened.
Bruce: What about staying in the shadows?
Nick: Perfect! Now, I have to return to my home. Don't forget to tell me about that strip club you mentioned earlier.
Bruce: Yes sir.
Jack: So you're evil now?
Nick: No, but I'll develop as a character to become a sadistic pyscopath.
Jack: But for now, we cool right bro?
Nick: Right dickwad.
They fistbump. Nick has a creepy smile.