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The Legend of Jack: The Epicness Continues
Season 1, Episode 15
Air date April 1st, 2014
Written by The Awesome Jack
Directed by The Awesome Jack
Episode Guide
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Plot

In the desert, a single man crawls his way around, looking for home after escaping an insane asylum. The sun beats upon the weary man, limping to an oasis. His skin darkens underneath the eyes as he barks a rough cough, falling to the ground. His chin began to grow stubble of what will develop into a beard. Zon looks up and hope races through his heart. An oasis. Zon runs to it but falls short, his face crashing into the ground. He begins to inch toward the oasis, desperate for water. Zon gasps as his finger ice in the water. Zon sticks his entire face in, gulping in gallons at a time.

Zon: Sweet jesus I love water.

Zon turns and vomits before falling unconscious. Vultures circle above him. Dustballs, sand, and cactus. All around him. Zon wails in agony, the heat getting to him. A few miles behind him, SUVs are cruising along the desert sand, searching for the escaped convict.

Zon: Dark Lord better pay the shit out of me. Ermac has no right sticking me in the asylum and when Toon finds out that his friend is actually his nemisis, shit is going to go down.

Zon limps past a cactus and turns, seeing the SUVs in the distance. Zon hurries forward and crashes into the ground. Suddenly, an Egyptian man hops of his camel full of supplies and takes a piss behind the cactus. Zon jumps the man, punching his skull in. Zon tumbles onto the camel. 

Zon: I'll call you Humpday.

Humpday: Woot woot.

Zon: You and I are going to get along just fine.

Humpday begins to pull Zon through the desert. Gunfire rains behind them. Zon searches one of the bags and finds a pistol.

Zon: Lucky me.

He shuflles around again and inserts the ammo. Soldiers run behind him, closing in. Zon shoots, the bullet zooming into the man's forehead as he drops to the ground. Humpday speeds up, not wanting to get caught. Zon shoots again, hitting the engine underneath a military Jeep and eagerly watches it explode. Soldiers fall back and begin to set up camp. Zon stays behind a hill, plotting to kill them and take their supplies. 

Zon: Stay here, I'll come back for you and we'll have a feast if I succeed. Deal?

The camel makes a camel noise and digs his heels into the sand and plops down. Zon crawls over to the dead solider he shot earlier and grabs his uniform. It contains a knife, assualt rifle, ammo, grenades and a few other gadgets. Zon loads the gun and enters the camp. He slithers into his bulletproof vest from the dead soldier. Entering one of the camps, he finds the soldier sleeping. Zon pulls out the knife and covers the soldiers mouth as he brutally stabs the soldiers throat. Zon heads over to the campfire, where most of the soldiers are, chatting.

Zon: Bon voyage motherfuckers.

He rips off the hatch of the grenade and tosses it. The explosion was earth-shattering. Zon shoots backwards as limbs and blood are everywhere. A helicopter light flashes on him from overhead and begins firing. A bullet rips through his thigh as Zon cries out in pain. He drags himself into a ditch. Humpday was there, asleep. The camel snorts. Zon stroaks the camel while taking deep breathes. The helicopter looms overhead, searching for Zon. Zon flips over and looks for an exit hole for the bullet. When he finds it, he has a sigh of relief. Blood pours onto his hands. Zon grabs a rag from the bag on the camel and ties it around the wound tightly.

Zon: That should stop the blood from pouring out.

Overhead, soldiers come in from all directions. Zon sighs as he drifts unconscious. When he awakes, the sun was peaking over the horizon and the blinding light began to emerge. His thirst returns and he takes out the pouch. After chugging it down, Zon pulls out a second one and lets Humpday drink. Humpday rubs his head against Zon's chest, cuddling with him.

Zon: Good boy, now let's try to get out of here. Don't worry, we will get out here. Or I'll die trying.

Zon reassuringly pets the camel once more. But could he convince himself he would make it out? He didn't know and right now, he needed to stop his wound from getting infected. Zon sighs as he falls asleep once more, coughing roughly.

Meanwhile....

Dark Lord coughs, sitting up. He rips off his shirt, revealing stitches.

George Stavonivich: You're welcome.

Dark Lord angrily stands up.

Dark Lord: Cereal Guy isn't here? Dammit Zon, we had a deal.

George Stavonivich: Last update was three hours ago, he's still in Egypt.

Dark Lord: Very well, let him find his way back. If he makes it back, good for him, if not, oh well.

George Stavonivich: Yes my lord.

Dark Lord: Bring in the three new recruits. I want to test the new serum on them.

George Stavonivich: Yes my lord. Shall I use the Bang serum?

Dark Lord: I suppose.

George returns a few moments later in Bang form with three men.

Dark Lord: State your names.

Daryl: Daryl Rhee.

Glenn: Glenn Dixon.

Rick: Rick Monroe.

Dark Lord: Glenn, when I inject you, you shall became Shriek. Rick, you will be Lethal. Daryl, you will be Poison.

All three of them bow before getting injected. They all grow similair to Bang.

Dark Lord: Excellent, my army is getting better by the moment. Mwahaahahahahahhahahahahahha!

End

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