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The Legend of Jack: The Epicness Continues
Season 1, Episode 2
Air date November 15th, 2013
Written by The Awesome Jack
Directed by The Awesome Jack
Episode Guide
Previous
Like Father, Like Son
Next
Down at the Park

Plot

Nick is tapping is foot with shades on, waiting at the back of a gas station. Four other men are with him.

Nick: Bruce better fucking show up.

Terrence: We should leave without him. The cop is looking at us pretty suspisiously.

Nick: Fuck it, get inside the car and be ready.

Bob: I got shotgun.

Micheal runs over with a purse.

Patrick: Where'd you get all the dough?

Micheal: Snagged it from an unsuspecting hoe.

Bob: Lookout, the cop's coming over.

They hear a gunshot and the cop falls. Their head turns to find Bruce, loaded with an assualt rifle.

Terrence: Shit! What the hell man.

Bruce: Get in the car, now. We have to get to the bunker. Patrick, you got the blue prints?

Patrick: Yeah, why?

Bruce: We gon' need 'em.

Terrence is looking at the scars on his wrists, memories flooding his mind.

Nick: Terrence! Snap out of it dickwad, we need you focused for this.

Terrence nods.

Terrence: Go on 5th Avenue and make a right.

Nick drives a bit down then turns. Soon they reach the bunker. Micheal gets out of the car with the uranium.

Bob: Careful asswipe, you gon drop it.

Nick: Yo, get yo asses down now.

One by one, the get into the bunker nuclear reactor. Two hours later.

Micheal: Damn, it failed again.

Nick: Well shit, we'll try again tomorrow. I gotta get home.

Patrick: Later boss.

Nick climbs out of the bunker and into his convertible Lamboghini. He speeds home.

Jack: Hey Nick.

Nick: What.

Jack: I'm married and have a son.

Jack Junior: I've seen you in a porno before.

Nick: I like him. 

Jack: It's bowling night right?

Nick: Yeah.

Jack: Let's go.

Jack Jr: Can I go?

Jack: Uh..it's adult bowling.

Jack Jr: Fuck.

Jack: Eh! Watch your language.

Nick: Alright, let's go.

Nick and Jack go outside and into Jack's minivan. They drive to the strip club.

Nick: You know, one day, one of these women will be my wife.

Jack: Why not her?

Nick: To fat.

Jack points to a naked woman with a ten dollar bill on each tit.

Jack: Her?

Nick: To slutty.

Jack shifts in his seat.

Jack: Isn't that a good thing?

Nick: Yeah but sex isn't everything.

Jack: You're wrong.

The next day. Nick is over at Baxter's house

Nick: What the hell is this?

Baxter: My pot guy calls the mind rape.

Nick: Some fucked up shit.

Baxter: Pot buddies for life.

Nick: No that's Jack or Patrick.

Baxter: Fuck you bro.

Nick cuts off Baxter's dick.

Nick: Hell no.

Baxter falls unconscious. Nick takes out his assualt rifle..

Nick: WHO THE HELL DO YOU WORK FOR?

Baxter: I-I can't tell you.

Nick: TELL ME GOD DAMMIT!

Baxter: I..I work for Dark Lord.

Nick: Shit. A war is coming Baxter. You're are going to have to chose a side.

Baxter: Well you just chopped my dick off!

Nick: Grow a pair you pussy.

Baxter:  I have no insurance!

Nick: Not my fault. As I was saying, war is on the horizon. I will do everything in my power to make it happen. While the world is concentrated on the Bat Toon and Dark Lord crime war, my gang and I will have it easy with our nukes.

Baxter: You son of a bitch.

Nick: It's all part of the plan.

Nick shoots Baxter again, killing him.

Nick: Step One, accomplished. Mwahahahahahahaha.

End

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