The Legend of Jack: The Epicness Continues
Season 1, Episode 14
Air date March 24th, 2014
Written by The Awesome Jack
Directed by The Awesome Jack
Episode Guide
Bat Toon Vs. Dark Lord
Humpday Say What


Smoke clogs up the ceiling as Ahmad puffs out his cigarette. He is in the back room, checking profits. He sighs, dialing the number onto his phone. He looks at a buisness card which has a scent that makes Ahmad uncomfortable. The phone rings until a man pick's up. It was the manager.

Man: Hello, Strip Club here, how may I help you?

Ahmad: Yes, hello. I'm a bartender and I've had an extreme deficit and I was wondering if I could buy some strippers from you to increase my profits?

Man: Very well, who would you like, Candy, White Chocolate, or Whipped Cream?

Ahmad: I'll take White Chocolate.

Man: Excellent pick, I send the stripper over immediately, it'll be $250 per month.

Ahmad: Alright, I send you the check next week.

The phone clicks, the call is over. Ahmad sighs and leans back in his chair, putting his feet on his desk. An employee named Stryker comes in. He adjusts his hair out of his eyes then looks at Ahmad.

Stryker: Ahmad, we have a problem.

Ahmad leans forward and lights another cigarette.

Ahmad: What now?

Stryker: Ivan and Clarissa are fucking each other all over the expensive wine you got.

Ahmad: Your point?

Stryker: You're a fucking idiot.

Stryker walks out of the room. Ahmad laughs then puts on his apron and grabs his rag. Ahmad goes to the counter. Tha bar seemed empty. Ahmad adjusts the counter and has a pole installed. Lego comes in.

Ahmad: Oh shit, Lego? You're white chocolate?

Lego: Yeah, who else would be?

Ahmad: A woman with big tits!

Lego: Dude, my entire club is male.

Ahmad turns and vomits.

Ahmad: Even Whipped Cream?

Lego slowly nods.

Ahmad: Well shit, I'm bouncing the check. You're fired.

Lego: Whoa, let's not get hasty now. Why not turn this into a gay bar?

Ahmad ponders for a moment then turns to Lego.

Ahmad: I don't want to admit it, but you're right I guess. What do we need to do in order to make it a gay bar?

Lego: Give me creative rights and I'll give you credit.

Ahmad sighs and puffs out some smoke.

Ahmad: How much budget do you need?

Lego: Twelve grand.

Ahmad's jaw drops. He drops his cigarette. 

Ahmad: That's more than we've made in about six weeks!

Lego: Well it will pay off.

Ahmad: It better or I'm suing.

Lego innocently smiles. 


Ahmad: Another round of free shots!

Gay men all around cheer. Lego begins twerking on the pole.

Ahmad: Lego, let me talk to you for a minute.

Lego: Alright.

Ahmad: Ay Clarissa, take over the rest of my shift or you're fired!

Clarissa: Douche.

Ahmad escorts Lego to his workroom.

Ahmad: I just wanted to thank you. Profits have gone up by 60%. I wanted to ask you something.

Lego: I'm not gay.

Ahmad: Okay, just asking.

The two go back out to the bar. Ivan mops up vomit then looks at Clarissa who winks.

Clarissa: Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? Must be a midget banana.

Ivan gets angered by this.

Ivan: I'm bad with remembering names, can I call you shit head?

He slaps her then walks away.

Ahmad counts his profits happily and Lego continues twerking.


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