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Interviewer: Mister Jack, thank you for coming today.

Jack: No problem dickhead.

Interviewer: So, 20 people live in your house?

Jack: Yep, but I'm the boss.

Interviewer: So what is it like in the day of "the boss"?

Jack: Well the first thing I do is......

________________________________________________________________________________________________

MASTURBATING

Like a boss

EAT CEREAL

​Like a boss

PROMOTE WEED

​Like a boss

KILL AHMAD

​Like a boss

PERFORM HEART TRANSPLANT

​Like a boss

REMEMBER DEATHDAYS

​Like a boss

FUCK DEAD'S FACE

​Like a boss

SWINING SWORDS

​Like a boss

LISTENIN' TO TOBUSCUS

​Like a boss

MASTURBATE

​Like a boss

MY OWN BATHROOM

​Like a boss

HARRASMENT LAWSUIT

​Like a boss

FROM MY MOTHER

​Like a boss

GO TO COURT

​Like a boss

PUKE ON THE JUDGE

​Like a boss

GET ARRESTED

​Like a boss

BREAKOUT

​Like a boss

SHOW UP ON THE NEWS

​Like a boss

NOBODY CARES

​Like a boss

FEELS REJECTED

​Like a boss

SWALLOW SADNESS

​Like a boss

GET A GUN

​Like a boss

IN DENICA'S MANGINA

​Like a boss

SHE SCREAMS

​Like a boss

YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO IT

BITCH YOU HAVE NO BALLS

​Like a boss

RIP OUT HER PUSSY

​Like a boss

SCORE SOME COCAINE

​Like a boss

CRASH NICK'S CAR

​Like a boss

EAT SOME PIZZA CRUST

​Like a boss

JUMP INTO A STORE

​Like a boss

SEE A BABIES TIT

​Like a boss

BLACK IN THE SEWER

​Like a boss

MEET A GIANT OCTUPUSSY

​Like a boss

FUCK IT'S BRAINS OUT

​Like a boss

RETURN TO THE SURFACE

​Like a boss

NOW IT'S DAYTIME AGAIN

​Like a boss

MASTURBATE

​Like a boss

SUCK MY OWN DICK

​Like a boss

CHOP DEAD'S BALLS OFF

​Like a boss

EJACULATE ON A FISH

​Like a boss

GET KICKED

​Like a boss

BY CHUCK NORRIS

​Like a boss

FEEL ACCEPTED

​Like a boss

HIT ON CINDY LAUPER

​Like a boss

ANOTHER HARRASMENT LAWSUIT

​Like a boss

GET TAN

​Like a boss

GO TO AUSTAILIA

​Like a boss

FUCK SOME RANDOM KANGAROO

​Like a boss

HOBKNOCKER

​Like a boss

RETURN TO AMERICA

​Like a boss

GO'S TO TIME SQUARE NAKED

​Like a boss

EAT ZON'S BRAINS

​Like a boss

TURN SKULL INTO BACON

​Like a boss

NOW'S IT 2014

​Like a boss

KICK OUT DENICA

​Like a boss

SHE STALKS ME

​Like a boss

MURDER THAT BITCH

​Like a boss

EAT SOME PIE

​Like a boss

TAKE A HUGE SHIT

​Like a boss

DIERAHA

​Like a boss

RAPE DEAD MICHEAL JACKSON

​Like a boss

MEET A DOLPHIN

​Like a boss

NAME HIM STEWART

​Like a boss

HE TAKES A LOAN OUT

​Like a boss

NO PAY BACK

​Like a boss

NO ONE BELIEVES ME

​Like a boss

NOW I'M BROKE

​Like a boss

PISSES ON A LITTLE GIRL IN A CANDY SHOP

​Like a boss

ARESSTED AGAIN

​Like a boss

FUCKS ANOTHER DUDE

​Like a boss

LET FREE

​Like a boss

BAILED BY SCI AND TOON

​Like a boss

PUNCHES SKLEI IN THE FACE

​Like a boss

FARTS ON TRON

​Like a boss

TURN INTO A JET

​Like a boss

BOMB THE SCANDINAVIANS

​Like a boss

FLY INTO MARS

​Like a boss

BLOW IT UP

​Like a boss

NOW I'M DEAD

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Interviewer: Sir, are you retarded?

Jack: You know that was rhetorical and I am an oracle I can swing my sword! Go tell that to your foreign grandmotehr bitch.

The interviewer left.

Jack: ​Like a boss

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