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The Adventures of AB
Season Specials, Episode 1
Written by AB
Directed by AB
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We Wish You an AB Christmas is the Christmas special of The Adventures of AB. It is the first special.

Plot

AB, Lawrence, Samantha, Samuel, Sally, and Steven were sitting in English class before the period started. It was the last day of school before winter break.

(Sally): 5 days left!

(Samuel): Until what?

(Steven): Until my favorite day of the year!

(Samantha): Christmas is my favorite day of the year, too.

(Steven): 5 days from now is Christmas? Oh. My favorite day of the year is Tomorrow Eve.

(AB): Steven, everyday is Tomorrow Eve, not just Christmas.

(Steven): 5 days from now is Christmas? Oh. My favorite day of the year is Tomorrow Eve.

(Lawrence): You just said that.

(Steven): 5 days from-

(Samuel): What's Christmas?

Everyone gasped except Steven.

(Steven): 5 days from now is Christmas?

(Samuel): I probably celebrated it. But I was only 3 when my parents died in a car crash.

(AB): I thought your parents died because they drowned.

(Lawrence): No, his parents died because a guy shot them.

(Sally): Sam told me that his mom was in a forest fire and his dad was eaten by a wolverine.

(Steven): 5 days from now is Christmas?

(Samantha): Christmas is on December 25. It's to celebrate the birthday of Jesus. Families put up a tree in a room called a Christmas tree, decorate it, and put presents under it for other people. On Christmas morning, everyone opens their presents.

(Sally): Don't forget Santa. On Christmas Eve, Santa rides a sleigh pulled by 9 flying reindeer. He goes around the world, jumping down chimneys and delivering presents that his elves make in a workshop at the North Pole.

Two girls walked past the English room.

(Girl): Hey, look! It's Samuel!

(Other Girl): SAMUEL!

The girls ran to Samuel, but a buff man pushed them out of the door.

(Lawrence): How did you get to be so popular?

(Samuel): When my mom died in a bear trap and my dad got lost in a journey across the world, I taught myself most of the things I know. One of those things was awesomeness. The only rules I had to follow were my own rules. I boss myself around, not anybody else.

(Lawrence): Why didn't your aunt or uncle or grandma or grandpa pick you up?

(Samuel): Really? My mom and dad were both only children, and their parents died long ago. Two died from a rare disease, one died from food poisoning, and the other died from maximun oldness.

(Samantha): Didn't one of them die from an explosion?

(Sally): No, one of them swallowed scissors!

(Steven): 5 days from now is Christmas?

The English teacher walked in, and the bell rang.

(Mrs. Ledderen): I know you're all excited for Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa. Which is why I'm going to give you a holiday assignment: in this hour, write a story about you getting a present that will change your life. I'll pass out paper.

Mrs. Ledderen started passing out paper. When AB got one, he started writing really fast.

(Lawrence): AB, I can't think of anything. What are you writing about?

(AB): I'mwritingastoryaboutwhereIgetatimemachineanduseittofixallmymistakesbutIcreateabunchofparadoxes.

(Lawrence): Umm, okay.

Later.....

AB was in the middle of his story. The screen showed the middle of it. AB was really muscular, and was wearing a weird suit. A hot girl was next to him.

(Girl): Oh no! The ice age is coming back!

(AB): We have to stop the quantum plug!

AB grabbed the girl and jumped onto a mechanical chair. AB pressed several buttons, then the chair went into a time portal. AB and the girl went through purple space, and saw a big blue ball blocking various items from going into a hole.

(Girl): We have to move the ball!

(AB): Leave it to me!

AB jumped to the ball and threw it. All of the things went through the hole. AB and the girl landed in the Middle Ages, where a dragon breathed fire. AB blocked it, then grabbed the dragon's tail and threw it far away. A big purple guy appeared. AB ran to him and kicked him into space. The screen went out of the story, and to Santa's workshop. The elves were working even harder.

(Santa): I'm kind of tired of regular presents. How about this year, I pick a random city and give 15 present portals to my workshop?

(Elf): Will that work?

(Santa): Of course it will. Just use the special juice.

(Other Elf): But that hasn't worked in 192 years!

(Santa): All it needs is the Santa touch.

Santa walked to a box and opened it, but it what was inside wasn't shown. Santa rubbed his hands together, and touched what was inside. It glowed red, green, and white.

(Another Elf): Why didn't you do that 191 years ago?

(Santa): Because my Santa touch was warming up from the other 459,234,109,876,346,214,564,554,981,226,003,004,005,681,980,321 times I used it.

Yet another elf took the box and poured whatever it was into 15 present boxes.

(Santa): Now to spin the Wheel of Cities.

Santa clapped, and a giant hat came up from the floor. Santa clapped twice, and a giant number 5872 came up from the ground. Santa clapped thrice, and a model of the Great Wall of China came up from the ground. Santa clapped four times, and a giant wheel came up from the ground.

(Santa): Finally. Yodeltoes.

The hat, 5872, and wall went into the ground. Santa spun the wheel, and it landed on a city.

(Santa): Tallie?

A very tall elf walked up to the wheel.

(Tallie): It says, "Dinklesnorf."

(Santa): Dinklesnorf it is then.

Santa pressed a button on a computer, and a sign that said "Welcome to Dinklesnorf" appeared. The screen zoomed in, and became Dinklesnorf. The screen went fast to Stinky Sock Middle School. It went to the end of AB's story.

(Girl): But there's nothing left to destroy!

(AB): Except my dignity.

AB jumped at a giant T-rex and punched him. The T-rex scratched him, but AB regenerated. AB opened the T-rex's mouth and broke all of it's teeth. The T-rex threw AB down and tried to hit him with it's tail. AB jumped onto the T-Rex's back and curled it into a ball. AB threw it into space, and glowed yellow. He flew up into the air, and everything glowed yellow. When AB was finished, everything was back to normal. AB kissed the girl, and the story ended. AB raised his hand.

(Mrs. Ledderen): AB, are you finished?

(AB): Yes!

Mrs. Ledderen took AB's paper.

(Mrs. Ledderen): It's 20 minutes before the bell. Pack up your stuff and explore the school or something.

AB packed up his stuff, went to his locker, and put some things in it. Lawrence walked to him.

(AB): Are you finished? What was your story about?

(Lawrence): I got a ring that let me have infinity of anything. I used it to multiply desserts. Then, I realized that I could alter concepts too. I made everyone respect me to infinity. Then, I became king of Earth. Alien kings of other planets fought me for control over Earth. I fought all of them except for the Jupiter king. When I beat everyone else, I made infinity of myself. We threw the Jupiter king into the sun and he died. Then, I made infinity universes for each of my clones.

(AB): That sounds, umm, nice.

(Lawrence): If only it was true.

(AB): Wanna play in the gym?

(Lawrence): You bet!

They ran to the gym. They picked up dodgeballs and threw them at each other.

(AB): This is getting boring. Neither of us are going to win.

(Lawrence): Unless......WE MAKE IT EXTREME!

(AB): This is exactly why we're best friends.

They both got things other than dodgeballs and threw them at each other. AB threw a bowling pin at Lawrence. He jumped, but landed on the bowling pin and fell down. Everything he was holding fell on him.

(AB): I win! Let's use our imaginations. I can use my time machine, you use your infinity ring!

(Lawrence): Fernando uses a flamethrower! Ronaldo uses a lawn mower! KARA USES A BOWL OF CHILI! ALYSSA USES AN ENVELOPE!

(AB): Really?

(Lawrence): Katherine uses a-

(AB): Let's just play. DINOSAURS! THEY'RE THROWING DODGEBALLS!

(Lawrence): INFINITY DODGEBALLS!

Lawrence pretended to throw several dodgeballs at the dodgeballs.

(AB): MEDIEVAL DRAGONS, ATTACK! ATTACK! AHWUSJFHSUTWUINWFDARKVOLT.SFKQYSMKJFJSJFJSJ!

Later.....

It was the 22nd, and AB's family was Christmas shopping in a large store. Deck the Halls was playing. AB was with Victor, but everyone else was on their own.

(AB): This is for Unity.

AB picked up a large jewelry kit and put it in a basket.

(Victor): Unity isn't that in to jewelry.

AB put it back and put a book of crosswords and word searches in the basket.

(Victor): No.

AB put it back.

(AB): What would she like?

(Victor): For one thing, she likes being smart. Hang on, I have a list of things she likes somewhere.

Victor searched his pockets. AB walked to another section.

(AB): Girls like clothes.

AB searched through girls' clothes. He pushed some shirts to the side, and saw a girl's face.

(AB): AAAH!

(Girl): AAAAAAH!

The girl accidentally threw her basket up. A large box of lipsticks fell into AB's basket, but neither of them noticed.

(Both): Sorry.

AB put a dress in his basket and walked away. Victor walked up to him with a piece of paper.

(Victor): Found it. Being smart, fashion, orchestra instruments, wigs, newspapers, freaky true stories....I saw a book of freaky true stories somewhere.

Victor walked away. AB looked at him while walking, and bumped into Timothy. Timothy fell down, and an action figure fell out of his basket.

(AB): THE ULTIMATE ELEMEN ACTION FIGURES! FLAME GIRL, WATERBOY, AIRINA, AND EARTH POUNDER! ALSO, THE VILLAIN ELECTRIC FREEZE! I'm glad you're getting it for me.

(Timothy): Not anymore.

Timothy walked away.

(AB): THEN I'M NOT GETTING YOU THAT SELF-CLEANING GLOW-IN-THE-DARK FOOTBALL! I've gotta find a self-cleaning glow-in-the-dark football.

AB walked away. O Come All Ye Faithful played as a montage started.

AB ran to some shelves. The shelves had wigs on them. AB took out a picture of Unity, and held it next to wigs. AB shook his head and walked away.

Timothy was looking in a section with lots of toys and games. He picked up some action figures, but saw AB watching him from behind a superhero mannequin. Timothy put the toys back and walked away. AB stomped his foot and walked away, but he accidentally stepped on a piece of a game. It was a button that said, "Here Comes the Punch!" A fist came out of a game called Dodge the Punch and punched AB.

Unity was looking at some womans' jewelry. She picked up a necklace with mirrors, but she accidentally dropped it and it broke. Unity whistled and walked away.

AB was walking, and he saw a video game called Move Users: Destiny. AB smiled, and his mom started walking to him. AB quickly put the game in his basket and walked away. He bumped into a man, and the game went into the man's basket. AB's mom looked at a sign that said "Move Users Video Games". She looked down and didn't see any Move Users video games, so she walked away.

Victor put 3 freaky true story books in his basket, then he saw a giant book called Guide to Orchestra Instruments. He picked it up, but fell down. The other books flew out of his basket. A boy, girl, and woman grabbed them and ran in different directions.

AB's dad walked to the womans' jewelry section. He picked up a necklace with mirrors on it, but he accidentally dropped it and it broke. He picked up another one, but slipped on the one he dropped and dropped the other one. He picked up another one, and slipped and dropped it. AB's dad picked up all of the rest and ran away, but he slipped on the necklaces and dropped all of them he was holding except one. He fell down, then got back up and ran away. He bumped into Victor. The necklace and book flew into the air. The necklace broke when it hit the book, and sharp pieces of the mirrors ripped out pages of the book. AB's dad and Victor started running in different directions, but they slipped and fell down.

AB and his family stood in a circle formation facing outside. They held up their baskets and smiled. The montage ended, and Away in a Manger played in the store. AB and his family were in line to buy their things, and had paper over their gifts. The guy in front of the line left, and a man got in front. The worker scanned his items.

(Worker): Lipstick, lipgloss, eyeliner, nail polish, necklace, bracelet, heart earrings, and a dress. You going Christmas shopping?

(Man): No.

(Worker): Someone's birthday?

(Man): No.

(Worker): Wedding? Anniversary?

(Man): No.

(Worker, confused): Any special occasion? Or are you just being nice?

(Man, annoyed): None of the above. Can I just get my stuff now?

The worker handed the man the bag. The man walked away, and the worker kept looking at him.

(AB): Hello?

(Worker): Sorry.

The worker scanned AB's items.

(Worker): $25.50.

AB paid the worker, and the worker handed him his bag. Some cheerful music played.

(Worker): CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE THE MILLIONTH CUSTOMER AT MALL-MART!

(AB, excited): REALLY? WHAT DO I WIN?

(Worker): YOU WIN, THE CANDY CANE MAN!

A guy with red and white clothing and several candy canes attached to him walked to AB.

(Worker): HE WILL FOLLOW YOU AROUND AND GIVE YOU CANDY CANES UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR!

(Candy Cane Man): I wish it was right now.

(AB): Candy cane me.

The man handed AB a candy cane. AB walked out of the store.

Later......

AB, his family, and the candy cane man put up the Christmas tree and started decorating it. The candy cane man put candy canes on it.

(AB's Mom): Do you have to follow AB EVERYWHERE?

(CCM): That's my job. Please fire me.

(AB): Nah.

Joy to the World played while a montage started.

AB was playing a video game. The candy cane man put his face in between AB and the game. AB dropped the game, and it said, "YOU LOSE" on the screen.

AB was reading a comic book and drinking soda. CCM walked to him, but accidentally knocked over the soda with his hand and it spilled over the comic book.

AB was eating dinner. He started putting a fork with mashed potatoes in his mouth, but CCM put a candy cane on it. AB choked and coughed, then the candy cane flew out of his mouth and on Unity's face.

AB, Victor, and Timothy were playing catch outside. Victor threw the ball to AB, but CCM got in the way and the ball fell down.

AB was making a giant paper statue of himself by folding several pieces of paper and attaching them with glue. CCM fell on him. AB ripped a hand that he had just finished folding, then fell on the statue so far and ripped it.

AB was changing into pajamas with his door closed, but CCM walked in. AB got under his bed, and CCM looked under there. AB kicked him in the face, and CCM dropped several candy canes.

AB ran into the bathroom and quickly shut the door, but CCM pushed it before it closed. CCM slipped in, and AB jumped into the bathtub.

The screen turned purple. AB was running from the CCM, while pictures of AB doing various activities disappeared when candy canes fell on them.

The music stopped.

Santa's workshop was shown the next day.

(Santa): How are you coming with that magazine?

(Elf): Fine.

The elf walked away from a computer. He wrote information in a magazine without any. Another elf wrapped the magazine and put it in a gigantic bag.

Later....

The bag was full of presents. 20 elves came to Santa.

(Elf): Santa, we finished with the present portals.

(Santa): Good.

(Other Elf): But we have a problem.

(Santa): A problem?

(Another Elf): Yes. The bag only has room for one gift to everyone. We can't fit 15 more in there.

(Santa): That isn't a problem. I'll just deliver them tonight. Where are they?

An elf handed Santa the present portals.

(Santa): Elves, clean my sleigh.

The elves left.

In Russia....

A workshop was shown. There was a sign that said, "Fanta's Workshop". Inside, a tall skinny man was putting presents wrapped in blue and white inside a bag. A dwarf went to him.

(Dwarf): Fanta Maus, Santa is trying something mysterious this year.

(Fanta): What? Let me see.

Fanta walked to a computer and turned it on. He pressed a button, and saw Santa with the present portals outside his workshop.

(Santa): I hope this works.

Santa jumped into the present portal, and was teleported inside his workshop. Santa walked back out.

(Santa): The children I give these to are going to be so happy.

(Fanta): So, he's gonna give present portals to children this year? Hey, what if I get those portals? Then I can change them, and they can be portals to my workshop!

Underwater....

A man with a fish head, a muscular man body, and a dolphin tail finished watching the clip Fanta was watching. A mermaid swam to him.

(Mermaid): Yanta Quaus, what are you thinking?

(Yanta): I'm thinking that if I get those present portals, I can change them so that they're portals to here.

(Merman): But won't the children drown?

(Yanta): The portals can also give them scuba diving gear. We've gotta get to the North Pole before tonight!

(Other Merman): On it.

The merman pressed a button on a trident he was holding. Yanta grabbed it, and the trident started moving with both of them. The trident flew out of the water, and away. A helicopter with Fanta and 5 dwarves flew in the same direction.

At AB's house....

AB was in his room with his door closed. He was wrapping presents. He had wrapped all of the presents except for Unity's. He got the box of lipsticks out of his basket.

(AB): I don't remember buying this.

AB got a thesaurus out of his basket. He kept looking at both presents.

(AB): Umm.....uh......

The candy cane man walked to him.

(CCM): Want a candy cane?

(AB): NO!

AB got a candy cane from the candy cane man.

(AB): Now, NO! YOU'RE ANNOYING! YOU KEEP INVADING MY PRIVACY! NOW LEAVE!

(CCM): Unfortunately, I can't.

(AB): You're fired.

(CCM): I can't until the end of the year.

(AB): It's the end of the year.

(CCM): I wish it was.

(AB): If you're gonna be staying with us, you have to buy us all presents.

(CCM): Seems easy.

(AB): That AREN'T candy canes.

(CCM): I'm going shopping.

The candy cane man left.

TO BE CONTINUED

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