Sci: Did you hear the news?

Toon: They found a cure?

Sci: No, but they've discovered a new breed of zombies called "fuckers". They fuck each other's brains out. Literally. There are now like, baby zombies.

Jack, loads shotgun: Let's do this.

Epic music begins in the background as sunglasses hover down onto his face.

Jack: Deal with it.

He busts down the front door and starts shooting zombies. The zombies surronded him, sniffed him then walked away.

Jack: Wait a minute, I don't have brains. Fuck yeah.

Sci: Seriously, are you kidding me?

Sklei: Thou has the idioticness to fuck a cow but not to be devoured by the monsters.

Jack bites the thingy on the top two grenades and tosses them. They explode as Jack dramatically walks away. He sees a baby zombie. Walking up to it, he steps on the babies head, crushing it.

Zon: HOLY FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCKING SHIT. I forgot to put butter on waffles.

Nick: BRB, gonna get the AMDB.

He returns with the ultimate weapon.

Nick: Let's do this bitches.

He unleashes his full wrath, causing destruction and killing many zombies. Jack pulls out a knife and throws it, the weapon landing in a zombies head. Suddenly a zombie snuck up on Nick.


He shot it in the head. The zombie fell down, dead. Nick starred at it. He shot it in the dick. Then in both nipples. Then both eyes.

Nick: This guy is totally dead.

Nick kicked him in the fucked up zombie balls.

Nick: Holy shit, this guy isn't a zombie. He's a fucker.

Suddenly a baby pops out. It jumps at Skull who was next to Nick and rips apart his neck.


He turned into a fucker. He tackles Scooter, rips his pants off and rapes Scooter, infesting him with the plague turning him into another fucker.

Jack: Well, zombie rape.

Nick: Yep.

They drag the two fuckers in and put them in cages.

Sci: I told you about the fuckers.

Toon hands him a five dollar bill.

Toon: Shit, I thought that it was fake, fucking internet does the truth after all.

Skull: Me....need....zombie vagina.

Solo: Shut up fucker.

Skull: Hissssssss

Lego: I'll be in the playroom if you need me.

Lego skips off.

Denica: I'll keep an eye on him.

She/he follows Lego. In the morning, there is a huge horde outside of the house, wanting food. The whole team is ready with weapons.

Jack: Lock and load bastards, here comes the battle for humanity. Make sure not to get raped, jizzed on or bitten. If so, please lock yourself in a cage. Now, let's kick some zombie ass.

Jack unboards the front door, opens it and tosses six grenades.


The Team charges and freeze just as they clash into the zombie horde.


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